My Sassy Witch
by Honeydukes Sweets
Summary: One night, Harry Potter encounters a drunken young witch on the Knight Bus. He is forced to take care of her hence begins the road of their rocky relationship! Can he put up with her sassy ways long enough to break her tough girl facade?
1. Once Upon a Time

EDIT: Well I am reposting these chapters plus more because I had to make some adjustments but I am back! Yay! Hope you guys enjoy and please reread it because some parts are different… :

Author's Notes: Okay, so this is a spin-off of a very popular Korean movie, "My Sassy Girl," starring Jeon Ji Huyn and Cha Tae Hyun. It's a funny story, and I thought I would write for fun in my spare time between the stresses of college work hehe. It takes place in the future…a couple years post-Voldemort, and a slightly alternate universe, in that Cho Chang did not attend Hogwarts. Okay, read and review! Thanks!

Disclaimer: Jessica does not own Harry Potter nor My Sassy Girl. That is all. Peace out.

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**_Once Upon a Time _**

The grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had always been a place of wonder and beauty, in any type of weather condition. On this day, the sun was mildly shaded by several clouds, so that the brightness was not overwhelming, and one could fully appreciate the landscape of the grounds without having to shield one's eyes. A gentle breeze tugged at one's sleeves slightly, but it was clear enough to enjoy the ambient noises of nature. Near the edge of the woods next to the Quidditch pitch, a young man of twenty-three years paced anxiously under a handsome oak tree. He wore a casual grey cloak and black round glasses that could not hide his luminous green eyes. He ran a hand carelessly through his messy black hair, revealing his notorious lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead. His eyes wandered hopefully. In his heart he knew she would come.

_Exactly two years ago today, she and I buried a time capsule here. We promised we would meet here today…but so far she has not come yet. I do not know how deeply love can scar…and I should know about scars. It feels like a lifetime since I have seen her face, but it also feels like just yesterday I was last with her. Does that tell me something? Truthfully, I do not know if she will come. But I will wait for her. _


	2. Introduction

Author's Notes: Hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: You know the drill. I do not own it, I merely love it.

_**Introduction**_

"Oy, hold it there, that's it, lad. One, two, three…" The old photographer scratches his balding head as he scrutinizes the photograph he just took of the young wizard with the jet black hair and bright green eyes. He sighs and scratches his whiskery beard and grumbles, "Aye, boy you've gone and batted your bloody eyes shut! Sit back down," he barks as the boy starts from his stool to look. "I haven't got all day, once again now, lad." He tosses the picture of a blinking and waving Harry Potter into the waste bin and lifts his camera to his face a second time. "Here we go, one…two-"

"Nitwit! Oddment! Tweak!"

The photographer groans in exasperation as the young wizard holds up his hand and apologizes, "Sorry, er, hold on a moment, sir if you please, I have a call…" He reaches into the pocket of his Alastor Moody's Academy For Auror Training uniform robe and pulls out his vibrating wand. He coolly flicks his wrist and casts the old man an apologetic glance as he mutters, "Yes, hello? This is Harry Potter." He immediately straightens up and quickly sputters, "Oh, yes, Aunty Martha, how are you doing? No, no, you are not interrupting-er, well I am taking my photograph, what? You are there already, I am sorry, Aunty, er, I will be there in about ten minutes time? Yes, go on and order your drink, I'll be along soon, yes, no, no, I will be careful, don't worry. See you soon, goodbye ma'am." He shoves his wand back into his pocket and straightens his bright blue tie. "Okay, I am ready now." He lifts his chin and smiles confidently at the camera lens, green eyes twinkling.

"One, two, three!"

CLICK!

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	3. Every Great Story Begins with Background

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Author's Notes: I hope the time switching back and forth does not confuse you guys! It will all fall together in the end, no worries:

Disclaimer: 'Tis not mine, 'tis JKR's!

**_Every Great Story Begins with a Background_ **

A photograph shows a smiling baby boy nearly twelve months of age. He giggles in the arms of his father who runs a hand through his own messy black hair as he tickles his cooing son. The baby's green eyes light up as his mother fusses helplessly with his unruly mop of ebony locks, but her own green eyes shine in bright joy as she smiles softly out of the picture.

_Aye, that's me all right. You might even recognize that photograph of me and my parents…that's one of the scant few I've got after all. So you know who I am, Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, although you probably know me from my Hogwarts years. I daresay I'm a little different now, eh? Oh don't get me wrong, I've still got my mum's eyes, and I still look a lot like my dad, but I guess you can say I've grown up since then. Not a skinny little prat anymore, heh, I'd go as far to say that playing Quidditch gave me some good toning, and despite all the training I had to undergo to prepare for the war against Voldemort, my facial features did not lose their appearance of healthful youth. I guess you could reckon that I learned to let things go, and can you really blame me, after all the losses I've experienced in my short life? _

_ So as you know, I spent the first segment of my conscious life with my Muggle relatives…sod the lot of them. Then I left my bloody cupboard under the stairs and entered the Wizarding World, where everyone…well MOSTLY everyone, Old Snape was never a big support even back then, but yeah people kept telling me how my life would be this great destiny, that I was so special and how only I would be the one to save the whole damn lot from that potty bugger Voldemort. Honestly? By my seventh year all that hype and rubbish was getting to my nerves and I was pretty zonked by it. And let's just say that the final battle didn't turn out the way we expected. Oh don't worry, Old Voldie died and I was once again the boy who lived, but everyone was thinking it woulda been some great epic battle thanks to that old bat's prophecy, but my role in this great destiny turned out to be…a load of rubbish. I've moved on since then and don't reckon I'd like to too much into it, but long story short, the bugger kicked my arse in the big public duel and I ended up stunned and unconscious before the whole Wizarding world like and was about to die by his Avada Kedavra when Old Snape showed his true colors and started dueling with Voldie instead. I wasn't conscious at this point, but from what I heard, Old Sevy had a way with his wand. This battle lasted quite some time while I was off sleeping like a prat, but just as Voldie was advancing on Snape, I woke up groggily, and, being the one destined to kill the Dark Lord, popped up behind him and Avada Kedavra'ed his arse behind that infernal veil. Needless to say…it wasn't a glorified kill…and everyone saw how it was really Old Snape who saved the day. Sure, I killed Old Voldie, but I was "such a little sneak" about it, it was really "that angel from the shadows" who saved the Wizarding world," and "that's just shows what a big scarhead the glory-hungry Potter boy" was. Yeah…those were just some of the things that Skeeter bitch printed…guess you could say she had a field day kicking at my balls after my embarrassing display in that final battle. Eh, whatever, I have long since been apathetic. I think all that praise and encouragement in my Hogwarts years turned me off from being great. _

_ But you know, all that is a different story. That is all in the past. Let's talk about me now. You think you know me? Heh. _

FLASHBACK

Harry Potter leans back in his chair in Headmistress McGonagall's office at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He sighs with a bored expression and forces himself to pay attention to what Minerva is saying.

"Well, Potter, even though you did not attend your seventh year…well we all know why and no one could possibly blame you…but the truth of the matter is, your marks were never very high in classes," she glances sternly over her spectacles at the youth sitting across the desk. "I mean, Potter, there is no doubt that you are a smart wizard...but you really need to apply yourself."

Harry sighs. "With all due respect, Prof-I mean, Headmistress, school has just never been an interest of mine. I mean, I'm no Hermione."

"Well, then, Potter, where do you want to go from here? Are you ready to enter the workforce then?"

"Was thinking about Quidditch."

"Well, I don't think England is looking for any new players…their trials won't be for another few years. What do you intend to do in the meantime?"

Harry groaned. "Must I DO anything?"

Headmistress McGonagall frowns at the boy. What had gone wrong with him? "You can work, Potter. You can go to school…"

"Fine, then I'll go to Auror School with Ron."

FLASHBACK END

_So that's how I got to where I am now…at AMAFAT. I'm still close to my mates Ron and Hermione but now that they are married, Ron's all grown up and you know how he always wanted to be an auror, so he's working pretty hard. Me? Yeah you guessed it. I'm a hopeless student. Grins _


	4. The First Night

Author's Notes: Here's the girl you've been waiting for…you'll see Cho in this chapter! Hooray!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of My Sassy Girl nor Harry Potter.

**_The First Night _**

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"Cheers, mateys!" Harry Potter gulped deeply from his mug of mulled mead and scrunched his face at its potency

"Come on, lads, we can do another!" Seamus Finnigan sloshed the jug and refilled everyone's cups. Dean Thomas groaned and shoveled some chicken pie into his mouth.

"Not for me," Ron Weasley said firmly, standing and pulling on his cloak.

"What? You leaving already, Ronnie?!" Seamus tried to pull him back down to his seat. "Come on, mate, it's only 9!"

"Oy, geroff him Seamus." Neville pried Seamus' grip off Ron. "You know he's got Hermione waiting on him at home." He grinned mischievously. "Don't deprive him of his loving just cuz you're not getting any."

Seamus scowled and faked a punch at Neville, who smirked and took another swig of mead. Harry settled back into his seat and patted Ron's back goodbye. Ron grinned at his mates and left Three Broomsticks. The other four young men watched his retreating back until the heavy pub door swung shut. Dean whistled. "Married life seems to be good to him, eh?"

The four chuckled gaily and waved Madame Rosmerta over to order another tankard of mead. Harry sighed in satisfaction, running a hand through his messy jet black hair and leaning back comfortably in his seat. His eyes lit up when the shapely Rosmerta dropped the jug on their table and strutted away, heels clicking behind her. "Oy come on, boys, here we go again!" The four clattered their mugs in the noisy pub, then pause on hearing a buzzing vibrating noise. Harry looked apologetic as he lifted his vibrating wand and flicked his wrist and lifted the tip of the wand to his ear. "Hello? OH, hello Mrs. Weasley." He cleared his throat and shushed the other guys. "Ahh…I'm out with some mates…no, Ron's gone home already. What? Do I really have to? She always squeezes my cheeks…I feel like a little kid! Okay okay!" He winced as the older woman's tone turned into a scolding. "Yes, Mrs. Weasley, I'm leaving now to visit her."

"That's a good boy, Harry, dear," the boys heard Mrs. Weasley say fondly. "You know Martha likes to see you." Her voice softened. "You know it's the anniversary of her son's passing. She gets sad around this time…it will comfort her to see you. You know you remind her of him."

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. "I don't look anything like him!"

"Well, she also said that she has a nice girl in mind for you to meet…isn't that exciting at least?"

"Ugh! No thanks, I know the type of girls she likes…not my type." Harry shook his head and shuddered.

"Yes, well, Harry dear, I won't keep you then. Go hail the Knight Bus now, you know she lives in the Muggle District…can't apparate there, remember?"

Harry sighed. "Bloody hell. I mean, yes I remember! Thanks Mrs. Weasley! Goodbye now!" He quickly lowered the wand and flicked it before she could reprimand him. He sighed and straightened his glasses. "Gotta go, mates." Pulling on his cloak, he waved goodbye to his friends, who were already having another round of drinks.

The pub door slammed shut behind him as he stepped into the cool brisk night. Grumbling to himself, he shivered slightly and glanced around. Despite the late hour, the streets of Hogsmeade were still bustling with people. Harry ruffled his hair and stuck out his wand to hail the Knight Bus. After a few seconds, he heard the familiar banging noise of its arrival. Glancing to his right, he saw the purple double decker flying towards him, jerking rockily from side to side. That was when he saw a young witch standing about ten feet away from him. Her black cloak hung loosely around her shoulders, tracing a circle on the ground with her right foot, and Harry noticed her jeans had become unfolded and the bottoms were covered in dirt. Her head was drooped, rolling slightly, causing her sheet of shiny long black hair to billow eerily in the wind. As Harry observed her odd behavior, he realized that she was standing right in the Knight Bus' path! Cursing under his breath, Harry remembered what a lousy driver Ernie was and sprung forward towards the oblivious witch. Reaching out, he pulled her out of harm's way just before the Knight Bus skidded to a rough brake right in front of them.

"Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. Just stick out your wand hand, step on board, and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Stan Shunpike, and I will be your conduct-ey there, Ern, look it's 'arry Potter! Been a long time since we seen you, 'arry, 'choo been up to?" The pimply young wizard beamed down at Harry excitedly.

Harry nodded politely at Stan, then glanced over at the witch. He was surprised to see her staring right back at him with a vacant expression. Her soft brown eyes looked up into his, strangely out of focus. Her hair fell in messy wisps over her smooth white cheek, and her face was a slightly flushed shade of pink. Feeling a hint of annoyance that she did not look remotely grateful for him saving her life, Harry was further puzzled when her expression turned to a frown. She did not seem to like his staring, and she slowly opened her pouting mouth, only to emit a loud hiccup. Harry wrinkled his nose in disgust. This witch was completely smashed.

Harry turned away from the drunken girl and stepped onto the bus, handing Stan some coins. He noted with some surprise how crowded the bus was tonight, and selected the last vacant bed to sit down on. Stan stared down at the witch and cleared his throat, and smiled cheekily. "Ahem, 'ello there miss. Name's Stan, 'choo doing out there, eh? We can take ya anywhere ya'd like, right there, Ern?" The driver grunted in response, and Stan nodded eagerly down at the witch.

Harry could not help laughing snidely as the witch fumbled drowsily through her purse for gold, then stumbled shakily up the steps. Stan grinned and tried to help her, but she flung his hand off her arm rudely and snapped angrily (but with a definite slur), "Get off me, you smelly arse!" She hiccupped again, turning away from the crestfallen conductor and staggered drunkenly to the window across from Harry. "Blooo-dy hiccup! hell…" she muttered, tipping from side to side. She leaned back against the wall of the bus, then slid roughly onto her bottom. Harry frowned in distaste, and settled back into his cot as the bus doors squeaked shut and the vehicle lurched into motion.

_So I've long since shed my shyness. When I see a girl who is exactly my type, I never hesitate to hit on her. Life's short, you know? Bloody hell, what is life without taking some risks? I learned that, if anything, from the constant danger I was in back in the day. So, this witch here is pretty cute, I must admit, okay, just by looking at her, she is my type. But I'm not into her. Why? Psh! Drunk witches turn me off! _


	5. First Impression

Author's Notes: And here we goooo some more!

Disclaimer: Not mine, I do not own!

**_First Impression _**

**- **

The Knight bus jerked to a sudden stop, waking Harry from his nap. He opened one emerald green eye groggily to see a sickly looking wizard stumble gratefully out the door. Squeal! The doors shut again, and the purple double decker shot back into the air. Stifling a yawn, Harry sat up and tried to smooth his mop of now even more unruly hair and surveyed the still-crowded bus, blinking sleepily. He glanced at his watch, realizing with surprise that he had only been out for about half an hour. "Lucky that Aunty Martha stays up late," he thought to himself, sitting up and leaning back against the window.

His eyes scanned the other passengers, and almost immediately stopped on the intoxicated witch. She was now sitting crosslegged on the floor, leaning against a pole, a vacant expression on her face. Her eyes looked glassy and unfocused, staring straight ahead at nothing. She did not even blink as the Knight Bus skidded to another rocky stop. Harry watched as an elderly wizard stepped slowly onto the bus and stopped by the witch's pole. He feebly grasped a wrinkled hand around the pole for stability, since all the cots were already occupied. The witch seemed to snap out of her stupor as she squinted up. Seeing the elderly wizard standing, she scowled and turned to the nearest cot, where a young unsmiling wizard, whom Harry recognized as one of his old Hogwarts schoolmates, Blaise Zabini, was shuffling a deck of Exploding Snap. Harry adjusted his glassed and watched with amusement as the witch adjusted her robes and heaved herself off the floor clumsily. Despite being of small and agile frame, she moved with difficulty, making her seem large and uncoordinated, most likely due to her drunkenness. Harry pursed his lips in disgust at the girl's embarrassingly blatant display of being drunk, but his mouth dropped open in shock as the witch clambered over to Zabini and smacked him smartly across the back of his head. All the nearby passengers stared in disbelief as the bewildered Zabini turned to look up at the angry witch standing before him. His eyes narrowed in fury as he sputtered, "What in the blazes-"

"Offer your cot to the elder!" The witch ordered angrily, glaring down at the astonished wizard. She gestured to the old wizard, who looked quite confused, turning his head back and forth between the two youths.

"Bugger off," Blaise growled, turning his back to the witch and pulling the covers around himself.

The witch narrowed her almond-shaped eyes and threw back her head haughtily. With a slight hiccup, she lifted her right leg and swung it at the wizard with full force. All the witnesses gasped in alarm as her foot came in contact with Zabini's back and the young wizard tumbled off the cot in a heap. He leapt up, yelling furiously, "Hey! Who the bloody hell do you think you are?!" He whipped out his wand, and cried out in surprise as she immediately swatted it from his fingers and beat him across the head with it.

"Yah!" She yelled sternly, making a sour face at him. "Be more respectful to your elders next time you little prat!" She hurled the wand back at him. Zabini snatched it and stuffed it back into his robes. She made a silly childish smirking face at him, as if daring him to stay and continue fighting. Hands on her hips she advanced towards him, emitting a slight giggle as he backed away on all fours. Glaring at the witch, he gathered up his cards and stumbled away to the back of the bus, grumbling. Wide-eyed, the old wizard shuffled slowly to the cot and lay down, falling asleep almost immediately. The witch rolled her eyes and blew out a puff of air between her pink lips, running a hand through her tangled black hair. With a quiet burp, she wrapped her arms around the pole next to the sleeping wizard, and leaned her head on her arms. Harry shook his head.

_Bloody hell. Pretty as she is, she is DEFINITELY not my type. What a mean biatch! Her unladylike behavior totally detracts from her cute looks. What the bloody hell kind of dodgy place did she crawl out of? _


	6. Odgen's, Witch, and the Luck of Harry P

Author's Notes: GROSSLY FUNNY SCENE AHEAD!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor My Sassy Girl!

**_Ogden's + Witch the Luck of Harry Potter _**

Harry groaned inwardly to himself, longing for that jug of mead he had left behind in Three Broomsticks. What time was it? "Just need to drop in for a quick visit, then I'm hightailing it out of there…" he assured himself. He checked his watch and sighed. He never understood why transit took so bloody long on the Knight Bus; didn't this blasted thing run on magic?! He tapped his foot impatiently, bored out of his mind. He blew out a jet of air from his lips, ruffling his hair, and found his eyes scanning the bus for the wasted witch. He spotted her immediately, still in the same position as before, arms wrapped around the pole, towering over the old man's cot. Harry smirked to himself, noticing that her eyes were crossed and confused. She seemed to fall asleep on her feet, and began falling forwards. Harry could not help laughing when her head bumped the pole and she let out a pitiful yowl of surprise. She squinted one eye in confusion and frustration before dozing off again.

Chuckling to himself, Harry leaned back in his cot and observed the witch. She sighed sleepily and wrapped her cloak tightly around her shoulders. Her straight black hair fell in tangled wisps in her face, and her smooth round cheeks were a flushed pink from her alcohol consumption. She pursed her lips and groaned softly in discomfort, squeezing her eyes shut tighter. Harry raised his eyebrows. "No way," he thought to himself. The witch hugged her stomach and pressed her forehead against the pole. Harry found himself gagging along with her as her chest heaved and she clamped her mouth shut. Her pursed lips emitted a whiny moan as she leaned her weight on the pole. "Way," Harry confirmed. The girl gagged again…and again, a look of intense concentration and disgust marring her pretty face. "Here it comes," Harry thought, wrinkling his nose and bracing himself for an even grosser display of public intoxication. The girl let go of the pole and clamped a hand over her mouth as her stomach heaved again. Harry clamped his eyes shut, horrified, to save himself from witnessing the disgusting sight to come. He waited…and waited. "What the blazes is taking so long?" He hesitantly opened his eyes and saw the witch gripping the pole with one hand, the other pressed hard over her mouth. Harry could not even laugh, only stared transfixed as time seemed to slow down while she gagged. And gagged. And gagged some more. This time it had to be it. Her expression was fierce as her cheeks puffed out from the vomit in her mouth. Then, to Harry's surprise and utter disgust, her face tensed… and then relaxed as she swallowed. "Bloody hell!" Harry felt his own stomach heave in repulsion as he gagged. "She just downed her own puke!" Harry made an exaggeratedly repulsed face as he stuck out his tongue and gagged. He was flabbergasted at the witch's happy expression; she looked almost pleased that she had swallowed her own chunks! She smacked her lips noisily and ran her tongue over her small white teeth. With a deep sigh of contentment, her body relaxed against the pole as she tucked a dark lock of hair behind her ear.

Harry shook his head and mussed his own black hair with one hand. "What a night," he grumbled. He glanced over to the front of the bus where Stan was chatting animatedly with Ernie, who continued to careen the vehicle violently through the air. He blinked sleepily but was suddenly yanked from his stupor by a sudden commotion. His head shot up and turned immediately in the direction of the drunk witch, who, shockingly, was spewing vomit onto the old wizard's head! Harry squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again to confirm that the display was indeed happening. The girl was half asleep, leaning against her pole over the old wizard's bed, oblivious to her own appalling actions. The other passengers gasped and cried out in shock; Harry couldn't believe it; if the situation had not been so disgusting, it might even have been funny. The old wizard, meanwhile was squeezing his eyes shut and crying out pitifully. With shaking hands, he tugged on his vomit-drenched hair and lifted his toupee from his now shiny bald head. But it was not over yet. The witch's stomach heaved again and another flood of vomit descended on the poor wizard, splashing off his scalp and dripping down his face. Everyone grimaced at the sight of the noodles she had had for dinner in little slimy pieces sliding down the unfortunate man's face. Harry shuddered in disgust and backed away from the spectacle. It seemed that the girl had now emptied herself completely. She wiped her mouth on her sleeve and burped. Turning towards Harry, her eyes glazed over, and, falling forward, she reached one arm towards him. "Honey…" she slurred, before hitting the floor with a thud, out cold.

Harry scratched his head and laughed a little, before he realized that everyone was staring at him disapprovingly. His green eyes widened innocently. "No," he said, chuckling slightly. "I don't know her- no! She's NOT my girlfriend!"

The bystanders were hissing amongst themselves, "She called him honey!" "Young people today," one middle aged women tutted to her husband.

Harry was flabbergasted. "I'm not her boyfriend! I've never seen her before," he insisted. He wrapped the covers around himself defensively.

"YOU!" The old wizard bellowed, screwing his face up in anger.

Harry shook his head and backed away. The old wizard straightened up and commanded, "Get over here, lad! Take responsibility! Why did you not take care of your girlfriend properly?!"

Stunned, Harry slid off his cot and scurried over to the wizard. Awkwardly, he removed his own cloak and wiped the wizard's face with it. He bowed his head in apology as he took the toupee and shook it out, and carefully replaced it dumbly onto the old man's head. At this, the old wizard yelled out in exasperation and disgust, and cuffed Harry upside the head hard. "Are you bloody daft?!" he thundered. Harry didn't know what to do…honestly now, when was the last time he had to act responsibly? This had to be the worst night of his life…well after Voldemort of course.

"Sorry, sir…" he muttered.

The old man gave an exasperated grunt and shooed away Harry's hand. "Forget it, lad, just take care of your girlfriend! See to it this doesn't ever happen again or I'll show you how I put my cane to use!"

Harry nodded mutely, then looked down at the passed out witch sprawled on the floor. This was just not his night.


	7. Motel BANG

Author's Notes: OOH and the story continues…begins…whatever :P

Disclaimer: Harry Potter Books do not belong to me.

**_Motel BANG _**

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Harry grunted as he staggered through the streets of London. "Blimey," he groaned. How much could a girl her size weigh?! Slurring in her slumber, the witch raised an arm and swatted Harry in the face. Impatiently, and with growing agitation. Harry smacked her hand back. "Where the bloody hell are all those motels you see when you don't need them?!"

Harry collapsed onto the floor as soon as he dropped the girl ungraciously onto the bed. Gasping for breath, he glared at her tiny frame. How could such a small girl be so heavy? Was he THAT out of shape? His pride hurt, he pouted slightly and furrowed his brow in annoyance, but his expression softened as he watched her sleeping form.

_I didn't know her, and to be honest, I was entirely annoyed with her intruding into my life. But I saw her smooth, white cheek, she pink soft mouth. I saw her thin graceful neck…and I also saw her small round breasts. Hey, I'm a lustful young man of twenty-one, okay?! _

Stepping into the washroom, he laughed. It had been a long time since the Dursleys, since he used a Muggle shower tap. He turned on the hot water and sighed pleasurably as the steaming water soothes his aching muscles. After a relaxing shower, he felt better than he had all night. Looking around the washroom, he grumbled to himself in irritation upon discovering that he had left the towels in the bedroom. Dripping wet, he peered out of the washroom. The witch was still knocked out on the bed. He shook his head- she hadn't even moved from the position he left her in! "Blimey," he muttered. Awkwardly, he scurried into the room naked and picked up one of the folded towels.

He groaned as her wand vibrated and began to spout some girly music. He picked up her wand and flicked it and placed the tip to his ear. "Hello?"

"…WHO IS THIS?!" Harry jumped in alarm as some old woman yelled into his ear. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH CHO'S WAND? WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Harry ruffled his hair. "Uhm…at some Muggle motel…I think it's called Motel 6?

"WHERE'S CHO?!"

"Uh…she's sleeping next to me…err I don't think she can talk right now-hello?" Harry sighed at the disconnect. Looks like he wasn't going to get any information on what to do with this girl. "Better get dressed and get out," he thought to himself.

At that moment, the door banged open and two Magical Law Enforcement officers ran into the room, wands pointed at Harry.

"Drop your wand and put your hands in the air!" The female office commanded.

Harry, who was holding the towel over his…private region, sputtered quickly, "No, I haven't got a wand! I just…I was washing up-"

The MLE wizard glanced over at the witch passed out on the bed and narrowed his eyes. Harry followed his gaze and suddenly realized what a sticky situation he had himself in. "It's not what it looks like!" Harry quickly protested, "I was just helping her…I found her drunk-I mean, I was just going to leave her here-"

"HANDS IN THE AIR!" The MLE witch bellowed, wand pointed menacingly.

Harry wanted to cry out in embarrassment. He lifted his hands-and the towel, into the air. Looking down, he turned beet read and immediately brought his hands down to cover himself again.

"DROP THAT TOWEL! HANDS UP! NOW!"

Harry squeezed his eyes shut. This. Was. Not. Happening. Scarlet as his old Gryffindor Quidditch robes, he obeyed.

BANG!

Harry yelled as he was hit by a stunning curse. Looking up at the MLE officers' faces, he blacked out.


	8. Meet Again

Author's Notes: Oh my, poor Harry! I hope you guys like how the story is going…yes it is SUPPOSED to be ridiculous!

Disclaimer: I do not own it! NO!

**_Meet Again _**

The next morning, Harry stumbled into the Burrow and plopped down at the kitchen table, exhausted. After taking Veritaserum, he finally convinced MLE that he was innocent, but they had still kept him at the office overnight. "Worst. Bloody. Night. Ever. God. Bloody. Damn-"

"Good morning, Harry dear!" Mrs. Weasley sang brightly as she set a bowl of oatmeal in front of him. She narrowed her eyes. "Why are you getting back in the morning? I hear you never made it to visit Martha, you better explain, young man!"

Harry groaned and buried his face in his arms. "It's a long story, Mrs. Weasley…I

really don't want to get into it."

Mrs. Weasley pursed her lips sternly but pressed no further. "I'll go wake up the rest of the gang, eat your breakfast, dear." She bustled pass him.

Harry poked half-heartedly at his porridge. Hearing a tap at the window, he looked up to see a handsome eagle owl bearing a red envelope. "No way."

Harry stared down at the unmistakable Howler with his name written on it. He glanced at the stairs. Better get this over with while he was alone.

BANG! The Howler exploded open and a shrilly female voice bellowed down upon him, "HEY! WHO THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU?! AND WHY WERE YOU NAKED IN A MOTEL WITH ME?! I WAKE UP WITH A BLOODY HEADACHE AND I HEAR SOME BLOKE HAD ME IN A MOTEL?! MEET ME AT THREE BROOMSTICKS AT 1 PM SHARP AND I WANT ANSWERS! IF YOU SKIVE I'LL HUNT YOUR PRAT ARSE DOWN AND BLAST IT TO SMITHEREENS, HEAR?!

Harry gulped. _How could she do this to me? I gave my cloak to clean her vomit, got yelled at, paid for a motel, and got arrested all because of her! _He groaned. _I thought it was finally over!_

Harry trudged into Three Broomsticks and sat down at the bar. Meekly, he peered around for the witch. Madame Rosmerta smiled at him. "Can I get you anything, Harry?" She smiled cheekily.

"No…I'm waiting for someone, maybe later, Rosmerta," he replied. He surveyed the room and stopped at the door as it opened. He took a deep breath as the witch from the previous night strode in and looked around the pub. Harry approached her hesitantly. "Er…begging your pardon…" he greeted her quietly.

Her head snapped in his direction and her calculating brown eyes looked him up and down. "So it's you, huh?"

He nodded, and found that, despite the situation, her voice sounded like a silver bell to his ears…though a few degrees harsher. Okay, maybe her tone made it more like a jagged saw. "Harry Potter." He offered his hand for her to shake.

She raised an eyebrow and turned sharply about, calling over her shoulder, "Follow me."

Stupefied by her rudeness, Harry trudged after her to a table. When Rosmerta approached, the witch indicated to him that he should order. "What do you want?" She looked at him with her clear brown eyes.

Harry rubbed his chin and glanced up at the menu. "Hmm…should I have a Butterbeer Rum? Or maybe a Brewed Jubilee Surprise? Too unpredictable..." Harry wiped his glasses on his sleeve and winked at Rosmerta. "Actually, Ros, I think I will have a mulled mead." He sat back merrily in his seat.

The Asian witch opposite him, however, gave her a blank stare. "Yah, are you daft? Do you wanna die? Drink coffee." Her expression changed suddenly as she shifted her gaze. Eyes twinkling, she smiled sweetly at Madame Rosmerta. "Two coffees, if you please."

Rosmerta beamed down at the young witch. "Right away, dearie."

Harry was flabbergasted. "Why did you ask me what I wanted, then?!"

She glared at him, and pulled out her wand. Before he could react, she had the tip to his throat, and snarled fiercely, "Now tell me what the bloody hell happened last night."

Harry sputtered, "Well…I saw you outside this place last night…and the Knight Bus was coming…and you were flat drunk…" The entire time he stuttered like some sort of idiot, the witch's intent gaze never wavered. "I saved your bloody life!"

"Don't curse," she snapped. "So I was drunk, eh?"

Harry nodded earnestly.

"I called you 'Honey,' eh?"

Harry nodded again.

The witch pondered this thoughtfully. "I kind of remember that," she muttered, looking amused. "So you took me to the motel, and showered to wash off vomit and sweat…and then MLE showed up?"

"Yes."

"You're a bloody idiot."

Harry started. _With a girl like this…you gotta show her who is boss._ "Hey, you better watch it," he retorted lamely. "I had to spend the bloody night at the Ministry because of you!"

The witch ignored him and flipped her hair over her shoulder, rolling her eyes. Harry's breath caught in his throat as his emerald eyes took in the sight of her. As she spaced out, gazing out the windows of the pub at nothing, he let out an appreciative sigh. Her straight black hair was shiny and soft, and perfectly framed her oval face. Her eyes had a liquid appearance; with immeasurable depth that repelled anyone who might try to discover what lay beneath. Her skin was pale, except for the rosy tint in her cheeks, and her small pouty mouth was strangely alluring. _When she is sober…she is exactly my type of witch._ He cleared his throat nervously. "You look much better and livelier today," he offered, cupping the steaming mug of coffee that Rosmerta placed in front of him. He grinned hopefully.

Contrary to his intentions, the witch did not look flattered. She stared him down as if he were a puppy who was trying to cute his way out of trouble. "Are you mocking me?" She asked harshly.

Taken aback, Harry quickly protested, "No! I mean-"

"Are you hitting on me, then?" The witch smirked.

Harry shook his head in disbelief. "No-"

"Good," she cut him off bluntly. "You and I are never meant to be together. There's no chance."

Not knowing how to respond, Harry reached for the cream and sugar. The witch smacked his hand away and snapped, "Wanna die? Drink it black."

Harry narrowed his eyes. _Who the hell did she think she was?!_ His thoughts were interrupted however, when he looked around and realized that sometime whilst they were talking, the pub had emptied out. _Where did everyone go? Did we really talk that long?!_

The witch suddenly stood up and hoisted her bag over her shoulder. "Let's go," she walked off, calling over her shoulder, "you pay, and throw away the trash."

He watched her saunter off in disbelief. "Wait, you didn't even tell me your bloody name!"


	9. Tough Witch

Author's Notes: Wow, if you felt bad for Harry ALREADY…

Disclaimer: Characters and background are Not mine!

**_Tough Witch… _**

He followed the witch into the Hogs Head. _She must be a heavy drinker,_ he thought to himself. This was seriously a strange day.

The girl slipped off her cloak and settled down comfortably in a chair. "You order," she told Harry when the waiter stopped at their table.

Harry told the boy, "Er…steak and kidney pie and a bottle of Ogden's firewhiskey, please."

The witch hurled her menu at him, snapping, "You wanna die? Eat chicken." Turning to the waiter, she smiled and said, "Chicken pie, please."

Harry was annoyed. "Why didn't you just order, then," he muttered under his breath. He was silenced by her glare.

As the waiter placed shotglasses and the Ogden's on their table, Harry noticed that the witch was distracted by the neighboring table's conversation. He glanced over to see two middle-aged wizards in business robes with two young-looking witches. "Why don't we do something fun after we eat," one of the wizards was saying to the girls.

The girls giggled. "Are you rich?"

"You bet, we can get a nice motel."

More excited giggles. "How much will you pay us?"

At this, Harry jumped in alarm as his companion stood up suddenly and strode over to the other table. He slid down in his seat. _Now what?_

The witch snapped, "So you kids are prostituting, eh? How old are you?!"

The girls looked uncomfortable. "What's it to you?" They snapped back, trying to sound brave. "We're old enough to drink."

The witch placed her hands on her hip angrily. "You think I'm doing this because you're drinking? Show me your ID!"

The girls looked at each other and hunched over slightly. Shrugging in embarrassment, they got up and quickly left the pub, muttering under their breaths.

"Yeah and you witches do good to stay out of places like this! I better not ever catch you doing this kind of thing again!"

Harry covered his face in embarrassment. _Pretty as she may be, she's a vicious witch! I'm embarrassed to be with her! Me, who have fought my whole life to stay out of the limelight…blargh this is just NOT my day._

The wizards stood up angrily. One chased after the girls, while the other rounded on the witch. "Who the bloody hell do you think you are to butt into other people's business?!"

The witch did not back off. "What about you, huh? At your age! Don't you have any daughters?!"

The wizard looked her up and down. "No, bear me one!"

The witch clenched her fists and Harry sprang up to hold her back, as the other wizard's companion did the same. As the two wizards left the bar, the witch yelled angrily after them, "Get back here you arses! You wanna fight? I'll hex your ass to kingdom come-"

Harry pushed her back into her seat, not knowing what to say. It was maddening, really. He could not remember the last time someone had made him feel so…useless. He said, in what he hoped was a soothing voice, "Calm down and have a drink, hear?" Releasing a puff of air, angrily, she grabbed a shotglass. Harry obligingly filled it with whiskey, and she took it all in one gulp. Quickly. he refilled her glass, and she downed that easily too. Harry didn't think he should give her anymore so soon, but she snatched the bottle from him and filled both their glasses.

He looked up and was shocked to see tears pouring down the face. She hiccupped as she wept, swaying from the alcohol. _Seeing girls cry always makes me very sad._ Harry offered her his handkerchief.  
She accepted it, but before wiping her face, she examined it. Between hiccups, she asked, "Did you blow your nose in this?"

Harry couldn't believe her nerve. "No."

She blew her nose in it and wept some more. Harry forgot all his earlier experiences with this witch and his heart went out to her. She hiccupped again. "To be honest," she sobbed. "I just lost my boyfriend yesterday-"

THUD. Her head hit the table, knocking over the glasses.


	10. More Than I Can See

Author's Notes: This story is so fun to write…I hope you guys like reading it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Or My Sassy Girl.

**_More Than I Can See _**

_Bloody. Hell. _Harry staggered under the familiar weight as he carried the witch up the stairs and back into the same motel room. Dropping her again onto the bed, he collapsed on the floor and swatted her arm away when it smacked him in the head. _I can't believe this is happening again. _He fished through her bag for some ID, and found her old China's Academy for Magical Scholars identification card. He looked at her picture in surprise…it was no doubt the same girl, but how different she looked! All the aggressive and tough airs were absent; she looked she smiled brightly up at him, then shyly looked down timidly. _What changed?_ He looked at her information. "Cho Qing Chang." Her saw her birthdate and did some quick math. "Twenty-two? So she's one year older than me…that's no reason for her to treat me like this!"

He went out and returned with Pepperup potion for her hangover that he knew she would have the next morning. Over the course of the night, he nursed her in his lap, cleaning her face with a facecloth and feeding her potion."

_When most people sleep, they usually let everything go and can finally find peace. But watching her sleep…I feel as if I can see a part of her that she hides from everyone. She looks so helpless and forlorn, so different than when she was awake. But instead of looking peaceful, she looks troubled beyond her façade that she wears during the day. How can someone sleep like a baby but look so unhappy? I wonder why she is so sad. I know this may sound strange because I do not even know her, but I want to heal her sorrow._

The next morning, Harry awoke with a start as the witch sprang out of bed and ran into the washroom, wretching. Harry blinked as he sat up and warily watched her bending over the loo.

"Get me water!" Cho gasped bossily.

Harry ruffled his hair and got up to obey and hold back her hair while she threw up.

_Our relationship is so bloody weird. We met three days ago, and slept twice in a motel. This is how our relationship began. _

H


	11. A Worthy Skive

**My Sassy Witch**

**  
**

Author's Notes: WOW bet you guys did not expect an update from this story! I'm very very happy to be back, and must apologize to those of you who have honored me by putting this story on alert but were left hanging. Thank you all for your loyalties and I'm so lucky to have reader and reviewers! Well a lot has happened since I began this story (mainly, the Seventh Book), so from now on, this fanfiction will continue as if the last book never happened (although, of course it really did and I loved it!). Thanks a lot, everyone!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor My Sassy Girl. Word.

::: bum bum BUM... :::

* * *

**A Worthy Skive**

Harry thumbed through the latest edition of _Which Broomstick_ absentmindedly as Professor Flitwick called attendance. Rumpling his messy hair, he stared glumly out the window; wishing classes were not back in session.

"Ronald Weasley."

Ron had skived today to take Hermione to one of those Muggle musicals she had been longing to see for her birthday. "Here!" Harry called from behind his magazine. He smirked; Hermione must have drilled Ron to study extra hard for that last exam for him to ranked so high in the class; his name was one of the first to be called. His eye caught sight of a new article about his old Quidditch captain Oliver Wood, who was now starting Keeper for Puddlemore United.

"Dean Thomas."

Harry glanced behind at Seamus, who shook his head, "I've got me accent, mate."

Harry rolled his eyes; somehow it always fell on him to cover for his friends; not that he minded. "Oi!" he called with his head subtly turned to the side. He chuckled as he finished the article…he would have to remember to owl Oliver come out for a drink some time, and maybe ask if there was any news on when his team might be looking for another reserve Seeker. His attention shifted longingly out the window again…clear skies, perfect for flying, if only he go out for a ride on his Firebolt…

"Harry Potter."

He wondered if Professor McGonagall had meant it when she had said she would notify him if she heard of any Quidditch recruitment coming up. She had seemed pretty adamant that he finish his schooling the first time he had talked to her about quitting his Auror training...

"Harry Potter?"

Flying would be SO much better than being cooped up in class…

"Is Harry Potter absent, then?"

Harry's daydreams were snapped back to reality. "Er? NO! Oi, I'm here!"

Professor Flitwick frowned, swaying from the top of his pile of books. "Answer the first time next time, Mr. Potter! You'd do well to pay more attention in class!"

Neville and Seamus sniggered as Harry grinned sheepishly. As Professor Flitwick's squeaky voice droned on and on about various sorts of disguising charms, Harry's minded wandered from the classroom like it always did.

"Despite the ease that some naturally-born wizards called Metamorphaguses can transform their appearances, it gives them only a slight advantage, if any. You will find that most of the most renowned Aurors in the history of the Magical word were not Metamorphaguses, but exceptionally skilled in Charms."

The sky was extremely blue today. Not a single cloud in sight. Was there any wind? How good would it feel to be flying right now?

"It is crucial that an Auror be versatile in his or her wandwork. Using the same disguise more than once, though tempting in its convenience, could potentially lead to compromising anonymity and endangering your mission. For example, in the case of Wendelin the Weird, Hthe whowho we now know suffered from an acute case of OCD in her zealous addiction to being burned, thus resulting in her allowing herself to be caught by Muggles during the Medieval witch hunts a total of forty seven times…"

The door to the lecture room suddenly swung open. Jerked rudely from his daydreams, Harry followed suit with his classmates and glanced to the door to see the source of this disruption. Even Professor Flitwick stopped mid-sentence as a raven-haired beauty stepped in, shaking back her long straight locks. Harry's mouth dropped open. _Oh. Bloody. Hell. What in the blazes is SHE doing here?!_

Cho's light brown eyes were apologetic as she gave a quick respectful bow towards Professor Flitwick, who nodded back and cleared his throat to continue his lecture. "As I was saying, Wendelin the Weird's hand at charms were, at most, fair, and thus, she relied heavily on many of the same glamour charms in her disguises, such as…"

Harry slid down in his seat and cursed himself for not having his father's invisibility cloak on him. He purposefully avoided meeting Cho's eyes, and shuddered when she spotted him and swept gracefully into the desk next to his-_why in Merlin's shorts did Ron have to be absent today?!_ He chanced a glance at the girl, who seemed to be paying close attention to this lecture that she did not even belong in.

"Now, as a result of her lack of variety in glamour charms, there were several occasions in which Muggles recognized her, and so Magical Reinforcement had to be sent in to do damage control-"

"Excuse me, sir?" Cho raised her hand as Harry stared at her in dumb shock. "How about a break?"

Harry buried his face in his arms. _This wench sure has nerve! She trumps in forty minutes late and is thick-skinned enough to as for a break?!_

But Professor Flitwick just glanced at his watch and started in surprise. "Oh my! I have been speaking for quite some time haven't I? Of course, let's break for…five minutes?" Humming happily, he leaped down from his pile of books and scampered out the door.

As his classmates chattered excitedly around him, Harry reluctantly to Cho after deciding it would be more dangerous to continue ignoring her. He was surprised to see her smiling brightly at him. _I never noticed that dimple in her left cheek before._

She tugged on his arm. "Let's go." She turned to get up from the seat.

"Go? Where? Are you taking the mickey? I'm in the middle of class!"

Cho frowned, "So? He took roll already, didn't he?"

_True._ Harry thought. He never thought there would be a day he would be taking this side of the argument, but he would rather attempt to give Snape a bubblebath than agree with the likes of her. "I can't miss this class," he insisted.

Cho tried acting cute again. "Come on," she begged smiling sweetly. Her eyes widened innocently.

_Stay strong._ "I told you; this class is very important to me!" Harry responded firmly.

Her demeanor froze to cold instantly. "Fine." She snapped coolly, getting up and flipping her hair behind her shoulder. Without looking back at him, she stalked out of the room.

Harry breathed out in relief when she disappeared out the door and his male classmates all began swarming him with questions.

"Who was that?!"

"Me mam said Mrs. Weasley told her you got a girlfriend, mate, but I never believed it!"

"You mean it's true?! Why haven't we met her?"

"You sly bloke! So how far have you guys-"

"She's a slugger! How did git like you get such a knockout?"

Harry shook his head and raised his arms for silence. "Boy, boys! It doesn't matter how good-looking a witch is! A girl needs to ACT pretty too!" He groaned. "And THAT one is ruddy well the bossiest, rudest-"

"Harry Potter?"

Harry and his friends turned to the front. They had not even noticed Professor Flitwick reenter the room.

"Yes, sir?" Harry raised his hand.

"Ah, there you are, Mr. Potter." Professor Flitwick glanced down at his roll sheet. "You may go."

"Er?"

"I said you could go now. I will not mark you absent."

"Er-what, Sir?"

"Wasn't that witch that just left your girlfriend?"

Blushing amidst the hooting of his friends, Harry answered, "Er…yes sir?"

"Well, off you go, then, son!"

Harry beamed at this turn of luck. Packing his bags, he grinned gave some slight bows of thanks, making his way through the buzzing sea of students. "Thanks a lot, Professor Flitwick!" he called as he reached the door.

"Oh, and Mr. Potter?"

Harry turned, "Yes, sir?"

Professor Flitwick beamed cheerily. "If you can, raise it with her!"

Harry felt himself blush beet-red but he grinned all the same as his classmates cheered and applauded.

Stepping into the hallway, he let out a puff of air and scratched his head. Cho whirled around, her eyes lighting up at the sight of him. "Yay! So it worked then?" She linked her arm in his. "Let's go!"

Harry grinned sheepishly down at her. "Thanks for getting me out of class. Where're we going?"

Cho smiled back at him. "It's a surprise!"

Harry laughed. "So what did you tell Flitwick to make him let me out?" he asked as they started walking down the corridor.

"Oh, I told him that I was going to get an abortion and that you are the father."

…_BHOMFGWTFBBQ?!_

"Harry? What's wrong?"

Harry's face contorted in sour horror, sputtering incoherently.

"Harry? You okay? Hey, where are you going?!" She grabbed his arm as he staggered back towards the classroom. "Get back here! You wanna die?!"

"NO!" Harry gasped, trying to wrench free of her grasp. "Professor Flitwick, it's not true!"

Cho rolled her eyes. "Oh, stop being a baby! Come ON!" She began dragging him away.

"IT'S A LIE, PROFESSOR! I SWEAR IT'S NOT TRUUUEEEE!" He reached his arm out helplessly towards the classroom as he felt himself get pulled farther and farther away. "NOOOOOO!"

* * *

"Race you to the pitch, loser!"

"I'll wait for you there!" Harry bopped her over the head as he sped past her, swinging his broomstick over his head.

The sound of laughter never sounded sweeter in his ears. Cho caught up to him and jumped onto his back shrieking and laughing. Harry ran to the Hogwarts Quidditch pitch and mounted his Firebolt, shooting straight up into the air. Cho yelled in surprise as she clung to keep her balance on his back. Cursing into his ear, she hopped off and mounted onto her own broom and proceeded to chase him around the field. When Madame Hooch made her way onto the pitch, Harry nodded at her and waved in thanks as she released the Golden Snitch from its box and he and Cho raced towards it.

_No flight in my life was ever so exhilarating as that one. I'll never forget the joy that shone on her entire face as the wind whipped her hair in disarray, nor the smile and laughs from her lips as we flew around my old pitch for hours that day. Skiving class that day was the best thing I'd ever done._


End file.
